Why write your last wishes?
Bringing serenity
Writing your last wishes allows you to take stock of your wishes, which can be a source of serenity. Knowing that your intentions are clear, you can look to the future with less apprehension.
Avoiding family conflicts
End-of-life and inheritance decisions can lead to tension within the family. By specifying your wishes, you reduce the risk of disagreements and misunderstandings.
Respect your convictions
Writing your last wishes is also an opportunity to express your personal convictions, whether religious, spiritual or ethical. This ensures that your choices are respected, even after you leave.
In summary
- Writing your last wishes reduces family conflicts , clarifies your funeral wishes (cremation, ceremony, place, urn) and allows you to express your personal convictions
- The document must cover four parts: funeral wishes, wills (property, heirs, debts), advance medical directives (resuscitation, palliative care) and mandate of incapacity
- Consult a notary to make sure that everything is legally valid. The Chambre des notaires du Québec can guide you
Keep the document in a safe place (notary, safe), and inform your loved ones of its existence and location - Bringing up the subject can be emotionally difficult. A mental health professional or spiritual advisor can help with this reflection
What should your last wishes contain?
Personal Identification
Start by clearly stating your personal information:
- Full name;
- Date of birth;
- Address;
- Phone number.
This ensures that the document is associated with your identity.
Appointment of a representative
It is wise to appoint a trusted person as your representative. This person will be responsible for ensuring that your wishes are respected. It is crucial to clarify their contact information and ensure that they accept this role.
Funeral wishes
Your wishes regarding your funeral should be explicitly detailed. Here are a few things to consider:
Type of ceremony
Specify the type of ceremony you want, whether it is religious, secular or personalized. You can also include preferences on music, readings, or speeches.
Ceremony Venue
Indicate whether you want the ceremony to take place in a specific location, such as a church, a reception hall, or at home.
Burial or cremation
Decide whether you prefer to be buried or cremated. If you opt for cremation, think about the destination of your ashes (urn, scattering, etc.).
Urn or casket
If you choose cremation, think about the urn you want, whether it is a classic, biodegradable or personalized urn. If you choose to have a burial, mention the type of casket.
Will
A will guarantees your wishes, protects your loved ones, and avoids legal conflicts. Consult a notary or estate lawyer for professional advice. It will guide you through the provisions relating to:
Disposal of Assets
It is important to indicate how you want your assets to be distributed.
Designated heirs
Naming the people who will inherit your assets is essential. This includes family members, friends, or charities.
Specific properties
List the valuables or sentimental possessions and indicate to whom they should be attributed. This may include property, vehicles, jewellery or items of sentimental value.
Financial provisions
Specify how you want your debts to be settled and who will be responsible for managing your accounts after you die. This may include instructions on paying funeral expenses.
Medical Considerations
If you have any preferences regarding your end-of-life health care, make them clear. This may include:
Advance directives
Advance directives allow you to specify your wishes about the medical treatments you want or do not want to receive if you cannot express your wishes.
Resuscitation
Specify whether you wish to be resuscitated in the event of cardiac arrest or if you prefer not to receive resuscitation.
Palliative Care
Mention your wishes related to palliative care, including pain control and comfort.
Take advantage of this opportunity to draft your protection mandate
(mandate of incapacity)
A power of attorney is a legal document that allows a person (the principal) to appoint a representative (the mandatary) in advance to manage their personal, financial or medical affairs in the event of incapacity. This mandate, which is often notarised, guarantees protection and management in accordance with the wishes of the principal.
How to write your last wishes?
Choosing the right time
Take some time to think about your wishes and choose a time when you feel calm and focused. Avoid writing this document emotionally.
Use clear and precise language
Avoid ambiguity by using simple, clear language. Your loved ones must easily understand your wishes in order to be able to respect them.
Consult a professional
It may be a good idea to consult a notary or a lawyer specializing in inheritance law to ensure that your wishes are in accordance with the law. This will also allow you to deal with any legal aspects that you may miss.
To find a notary, visit the website of the Chambre des notaires du Québec
Keeping and communicating your last wishes
Where to keep your wishes?
Once written, make sure your last wishes are stored in a safe place, such as a safe deposit box or a file with a notary. Make sure that this document is easily accessible when needed.
Inform your loved ones
Communicate with your loved ones to let them know where this document is and discuss your wishes with them. This will help them prepare and understand your intentions.
Emotional issues
Confronting your emotions
Writing down your last wishes can arouse intense emotions. It is normal to feel sadness, anguish or even peace. Take the time to process these emotions.
Talk about it with your loved ones
Opening up the conversation about your final wishes with your loved ones can be difficult, but it can also strengthen bonds. This allows you to share your thoughts on life, death, and legacy.
The role of support
Psychological support
If the topic of last wishes is weighing on you, consider seeing a mental health professional. This can help you clarify your thoughts and better manage your emotions.
Spiritual accompaniment
If you are committed to spiritual or religious beliefs, a spiritual counselor or a member of your faith community can help you explore your wishes and find comfort.
Conclusion
Writing your last wishes is an act of foresight and love towards your loved ones. This allows them to better understand your wishes and act accordingly during a difficult time. By taking the time to reflect and document your wishes, you create a legacy of peace and serenity. This process may seem daunting, but it’s essential to ensure that your voice is heard even after you’re gone.
Take the time to formulate your final wishes carefully and thoughtfully. This document is not only a way to organize the end of your life, but also a way to celebrate your existence and honor the bonds you have made with your loved ones. Ultimately, it is an act of compassion, both for yourself and for those you leave behind.
